Monday, 28 October 2013

Waiting is Making Me Go Mad

So I`m still waiting to see a psychiatrist...lucky me. I guess I`m not crazy enough to need to been seen right away. I think I have been waiting over 4 months to be seen. I am trying so hard to wait because I really don`t want to see my gp. I need a med change or something. My meds I don`t think have ever worked. My moods are all over the place lately. I want to get down to the bottom of what I have. I`m also scared of what I could have.

My one best friend has been in the psychiatric hospital for over 3 or 4 weeks now. They are still assessing what she has and then they might send her to the psychosis unit or discharge her. She will then live with her mom while she is waiting for a spot in a group home to open up. I feel so bad that she is going through that. My illness is different than hers and less severe in certain aspects, but I can still understand and feel the emotions that she is going through.

I`ve been doing a course by correspondence and it`s been taking me forever to get through it and I probably won't get in done for a couple months (I have a really hard time learning from a book and teaching myself). My mom keeps holding it over my head. "Go do your biology!" "You're never going to finish it." "What's the point?"

I also am getting some in car lessons so that I can get my driver's license (panic attack lol). She will not let me practise with her at all. I tried 2 times driving with her and she yelled the whole time. My mom is so controlling and it has been horrendous trying to learn to drive. I will finally be getting some control back (not that she will let me drive her car and I cannot afford a vehicle, but still I will have my license).

I've been neglecting my blog, but not a whole lot has changed...I'm not receiving any more mental health care and I haven't got an official diagnosis nor have I had a med change. I don't have a job as I am not stable enough and my family thinks there is nothing wrong with me #stigma

No comments:

Post a Comment